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Women don’t ask.

My 7 year old niece drew this for me. It is one of the most precious things in my apartment. Notice her correct usage of ‘than’ versus ‘then’ and the heart exclamation point. How optimistic, how loving, how inspiring, how girlie. I hope and pray she grows up to be a self-authored, self-determined, sovereign woman…

When the category 5 HER-ricane hits…

There’s a coaching lesson here I promise. Like many Americans this week, I will gather together with family to share food and drink, and passive aggressive expressions of good cheer and merriment. Thankfully my gathering happened early allowing me to return blissfully back to my authentic self and real world until Christmas.  I always prefer…

I need to be called upon to speak.

Said one experienced, accomplished Asian female professional. I almost broke down in tears. I don’t often get muffled by the distorted self-stories that my coaching clients tell themselves (it’s my job to help them reframe) but this one hit a nerve.  What happened in the socialization, upbringing, acculturation, indoctrination, brainwashing of this young woman that…

Are we overly-assisted?

I had a coaching client once ask me, “What is HR?” It took all of my facial muscles to keep my composure.  This client was a new graduate and struggling to navigate through her first job. In my head I wondered, “I am sure The Simpsons explained this. Friends? The movies?” The other day walking…

What I’ve learned since Yale.

I have the honor of speaking at Yale this weekend for their Careers, Life and Yale event which connects students with alumni. I’m thrilled to be back on campus to support the best and the brightest with some tips.  Here are just a few things I’ve learned since boolah boolah: Communication is key. This was a mantra…

Run.

Run, don’t walk if your Manager or Leader says the following: You should have known. You know what happens when you assume. Leaders and Managers have a responsibility to communicate expectations clearly. Clearly. Over and over and over. Mind-reading is not a success formula for anyone. Managers Instead Ask: What is your understanding of the…

How is life outside of work?

Leaders, Managers – give it a try. “How is Life Outside of Work?” is one of my favorite coaching questions. It unlocks an iceberg of data that may be related to the presenting problem. It builds trust if asked with authenticity. At the end of the day, you are managing people, not problems. You are…